- Infatuation ..

Friday, February 17, 2006

i cant handle any more of dis shit ..

haiz .. nth seems to be going rite for me ever since i got my bad results from da Os .. i lost my stuff, get angry easily .. yesterday my handphone da increase volume button spoil .. fuck lah .. den 2day when down sch to help out campcraft training for da guys, raining! wtf? den one of da cadet itchy hand, dunno how 2 use my umbrella go and spoil it .. shit lah .. now i cant even fix it .. i really like dat umbrella alot lor .. NEXT TIME ASK IF U DUNNO HOW 2 USE OTHER PPL'S THING! IN DA FIRST PLACE U SHUD HAVE ASK FOR PERMISSION FIRST! u noe u juz made my day even more worse .. do u noe wat i'd been thru for da past 2 week? all da amt of stress and bullshit i had to go thru? DO YOU? u dont rite? so pls, i dun need somebody to add more stress and worry to me now .. i dun need anymore bullshit .. pls, wateva u do, dont make me angry, sad, frustrated or panic .. i had enuff of beating mentally and emotionally liao .. i dun need more to make me feel worse .. den now my handphone da decrease button spoil .. fuck lah .. cant take it anymore lah .. haiz .. i'm gonna blow up soon .. to all my frends if i happen to throw my tantrum or scold u real loud, pls 4give me .. i juz cant handle all dis stuff anymore .. sorry guys .. really sorry .. plus now, i feel really sick .. have a really bad bad bad headache, and i keep feeling nauseautic, coughing like want 2 vomit like dat .. haiz ..

Unkie @ 11:08 PM

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

valentine's day ..

happy V' day to all .. yet another lonely V' day for me .. y m i nt surprised? haha .. maybe i'n getting used to it liao .. or not .. haiz .. wateva .. screw dis shit .. nth seems 2 go well for me anyway .. everything juz goes wrong as i grow older .. dunno y .. :(

Unkie @ 1:15 AM

Sunday, February 12, 2006

haiz .. i dunno wat 2 do .. i really dun ..

pass da crying period liao .. now i'm juz in "dazed mode" .. haiz .. i cant handle dis shit anymore .. crap ass .. haiz .. 4 those of y'all who want 2 noe my results, well here it goes ..

EL - B3
COMB HUMANS - B3
COMB SCIENCE - A2
F&N - A2
CHINESE - C6!!
EMATHS - D7
L1R4 - 17

c how destructive failing maths can b? ur other results how gd oso useless .. cant go much poly courses except for architecture, landscape architecture and interior design and some few other 5 courses only .. haiz .. da only prob now is dat i dunno wat 2 do now? whether 2 do dis or do dat .. so many decisions .. HARD decisions, decisions which i dun like .. but it has 2 be made by dis wednesday 4pm .. haiz .. how sia? i m very tired now .. too tired to tink of wat 2 do liao .. 2 weak 2 make da decisions .. 2 scared to make decisions .. lose 90% of my confidence .. haiz .. anyway, i'd like 2 thank roufang, for da letter u gave me 2 gether wif a handmade key chain and a "winner's survival kit!" .. haha .. it helped alot .. i smiled 4 quite some time tinking abt it.. thx .. i love u big! haha .. haiz .. how now? suppose 2 hav made da decision 2day .. but den i juz cudnt make it .. haiz ..

Unkie @ 10:16 PM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

haiz .. y muz it come true?

da truth is dat last wednesday nite, i dream dat i took my results and found out dat i failed maths! i was so devastated dat time .. once i woke up, it was over .. i was praying so hard dat it will nt come true and i will at least get a c6 .. but den .. haiz .. in the end it really happen ... y man .. haiz .. i'm so shattered .. ppl say it's nt da end of da world 2 me .. but den 2 me it's da end of da world .. haiz ..

Unkie @ 12:07 AM

Friday, February 10, 2006

depressed, demoralized, sad, pain, agony, anguish, shattered .. crying ..
yes .. my worse nitemare came true .. i failed maths .. D7 .. i was like so shattered when i c da D7 there for maths .. i was so angry dat i got a C6 for chinese .. WTF? IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE THE OTHER WAY! now, i cant go 2 any course in poly dat i like .. i can go to those useless course .. yes i'm crying now .. i m really crying .. i wont tok abt how much i get for da rest cuz i tink it's pointless to tok abt those now, cuz i already failed math .. i only needed c6 .. i juz needed a c6 for maths .. den everything will be fine .. but den .. i guess, life juz gotta suck somehow .. somehow, i feel dat life's a fucking bitch .. i'm nt blaming anyone .. but i juz blame myself 4 having such a crap up life .. suffered all kinds of bullshit since child .. till 2day .. when i cried in my sch, my frends and teacher gave all sorts of solutions 2 wat i can do .. but wat's da point? I REALLY REALLY DUNNO WAT TO DO! i really dun .. i'm lost, confused and disappointed .. or shud i say devastated, cuz i'm crying my hearts out now typing dis blog ... i dunno lah .. haiz!

Unkie @ 4:41 PM

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Chingay logistics wif ASD! + Results coming soon .. damn!
da whole of my O lvls holidays, i've been doing logistics wif ASD for chingay .. at first, i tot dat i'll be so extra there, but den guess wat? i blended in quite easily .. maybe cuz most of them there are my friends, same batch, but in JCs now .. haha .. made quite a few new frends too .. i juz want 2 say, u guys rock man! haha .. luv ya guys .. u guys are a sporting and funny bunch! haha! my old friends from 2005's chingay ( rachel, siyi, minling, debra, roufang, Sikang, Alex, Benny ) i've gotten to noe u peeps better! next new frends from ASD like ( Jie Kai, Wei Han, Ting Ting, Stella, Jian Li*, McVin, Geng Li) and ICs like ( Jia Yang, Ji Yang and Teck Kiang)! AND ALSO NT FORGETTING MY LONG LOST FREND TANG QISHENG! haha finally met up wif u again! lastly, also to Boon Han, who is bz wif his drama now! jia you bro! it's been a great experience wif u guys! thx alot .. gonna miss u guys alot man when i go SD .. haha .. so THANK YOU VERY MUCH AGAIN! a few last words to a few friends .. i will nt elaborate wat happen during da chingay preview and da actual day .. cuz i'm juz too lazy liao ..

to rachel: MARIGOLD, FOR HEALTH, FOR LIFE!
to debra: stop poking my face, u still cant do da poking trick rite! lol haha ..
to min ling: i didnt noe u r Teck Qiang's sister until recently lol .. paiseh
to siyi: drink more water, take more throat soother sweets!
to alex: BOSS! U WANT WATER? OR BISCUITS?
to benny: bro thx 4 all ur help in logistics, buying dinner lah, going GK lah! all da best 4 ur results!
to stella: i still think dat i saw u participating in last year's chingay!
to jian li: i didnt noe u in TP, i tot u in JC! lol!
to geng li: dun anyhow act sick in front of u seniors in army hor?! i may 4give u 4 dat, but they won't lol ..
to roufang: hehe .. *chuckles* .. PUI PUI! haha ..
to qisheng: QISHENG! *does da handshake action wif him depicted from da movie S.W.A.T ..* lol!

NEXT: RESULTS RELEASING TMR 10 FEB 2006!
ok lah .. da day dat i feared is finally coming .. haiz .. was hoping dat da results wud be released next week rather den dis week .. but den, i guess it's juz nt up to me 2 choose when will it be released .. hmmm .. well if u ask whether i'm confident, my answer is no .. cuz i found da paper tough .. haiz .. i dun tink i will be able to sleep tonite liao .. haiz ... i'm juz keeping my fingers crossed .. juz a few last words b4 i go take my results .. I LOVE ALL MY FRENDS OUT THERE!and al da best to both 5n classes of YHSS '05 and to those of my frends taking private ..! peace out!

Unkie @ 11:59 PM

Thursday, February 02, 2006

i feel like crap, so much anger and sadness in me ..

haiz .. feel like shit today .. more of sadness though .. well started my day off wif NPCC training in da afternoon .. when to help out wif da campcraft training .. but my main aim was to collect my NPCC certificate and medal, which was supposed to be given to me long time ago .. but then "someone" spell my surname wrongly .. so went to help out da training .. i can see that they nver progress so much yet .. haiz .. how like dat? campcraft competition coming soon lehz .. lol .. got malim help 2 .. cuz he too wanted to collect his cert .. haha asked malim to bring SMALLVILLE SEASON 5 EPISODE 11 & 12 for me 2 .. haha .. i'm a big SMALLVILLE fan! haha .. been watching it since da first season in s'pore .. but then they havent show season 5 in s'pore yet, only in America .. haha .. thx malim!

den was like when i go 2 collect my cert, "he" gave me my cert but nver give da medal .. i ask wat abt my medal? he say he bz .. da medal wif another officer .. but den he bz .. lol i was so pissed wif dat answer "he" gave me .. den dat officer passed by, so i told "him" to enquire abt my medal .. da officer told him dat da medal was in a cupboard .. den u noe wat "he" told me in da end? he told me he bz, ask me to collect from him another day .. ask me remind him on results release day? WTF? spell my surname, take so long to change it, den wait so long .. den now "he" can tell me "he" bz? shit lor .. wat's worse, i saw something on da certificate dat made me even angrier .. da name was spelled correctly dis time .. but then, it says dat i serve in NPCC from 2002 to 2005 .. WTF IS DIS SHIT? I SERVE NPCC FROM 2001 TO 2005! NOT 2002! slogged my guts out for da unit and dis is wat da fuck i get .. "some ppl" juz dunno how to appreciate gd help, cudnt be bothered to do a certificate properly .. fuck lah .. i hate dis type of ppl .. so damn pissed .. GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR! den when back home and watched da smallville episodes dat malim gave me .. episode 12 was da 100th episode of the whole smallville season .. spoilers say dat CLARK WILL FINALLY, COME CLEAN WIF HIS SECRET WIF LANA, AND HE WILL PROPOSE TO LANA! YAY! FINALLy!

but den someone will die .. i was so hoping it wasnt lana .. but den .. shit .. i fast forward da episode .. it was lana .. den i had to go liao .. cant watched all finish, cuz gotta help out in chingay logistics .. den dat episode da starting played You're Beautiful - James Blunt .. wah so suit dat episode .. cuz over da pass few seasons, clark love lana alot, but den .. he dare nt start a relationship wif her .. he scared dat he might hurt her .. they started da relationship once, but it lasted only 2 episodes .. den dis season, he started da relationship again! dis time it lasted for abt 10 episodes! so cool! i love dis season .. but den from episode 11, lana cudnt stand clark keeping his secret .. decided to get closer to lex .. so clark was like haiz ..

" You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're beautiful, its true
and i dunno wat 2 do,
cuz i'll nver be wif u .."

back to chingay logistics, on my way 2 PA, i was listening to da james blunt song .. cuz i can really understand how clark feels .. cuz i feel da same way too, towards another person .. so when i finally arrived at PA, i was like so demoralized and sad in a way 2 .. haiz .. den something bad happen again lah .. i dun want 2 say wat happen lah .. but i tink .. arh 4get it .. i juz dun understand y such tings happen oso .. when i finally reach home .. i watch finish da smallville episodes .. i was like crying at the end of da episode .. sad ending man .. sad ending .. Clark's feeling towards Lana, is kinda same for me .. oh well .. my next entry will say exactly wat happen in dat episode ..

why does it have to turn out dis way?
why muz it happen now when everything is so perfect?
why is it so hard to tell her da truth?
why cant i be wif her happily for da rest of my life?
why? help me someone .. save me ..

Unkie @ 1:27 AM

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