- Infatuation ..

Thursday, February 02, 2006

i feel like crap, so much anger and sadness in me ..

haiz .. feel like shit today .. more of sadness though .. well started my day off wif NPCC training in da afternoon .. when to help out wif da campcraft training .. but my main aim was to collect my NPCC certificate and medal, which was supposed to be given to me long time ago .. but then "someone" spell my surname wrongly .. so went to help out da training .. i can see that they nver progress so much yet .. haiz .. how like dat? campcraft competition coming soon lehz .. lol .. got malim help 2 .. cuz he too wanted to collect his cert .. haha asked malim to bring SMALLVILLE SEASON 5 EPISODE 11 & 12 for me 2 .. haha .. i'm a big SMALLVILLE fan! haha .. been watching it since da first season in s'pore .. but then they havent show season 5 in s'pore yet, only in America .. haha .. thx malim!

den was like when i go 2 collect my cert, "he" gave me my cert but nver give da medal .. i ask wat abt my medal? he say he bz .. da medal wif another officer .. but den he bz .. lol i was so pissed wif dat answer "he" gave me .. den dat officer passed by, so i told "him" to enquire abt my medal .. da officer told him dat da medal was in a cupboard .. den u noe wat "he" told me in da end? he told me he bz, ask me to collect from him another day .. ask me remind him on results release day? WTF? spell my surname, take so long to change it, den wait so long .. den now "he" can tell me "he" bz? shit lor .. wat's worse, i saw something on da certificate dat made me even angrier .. da name was spelled correctly dis time .. but then, it says dat i serve in NPCC from 2002 to 2005 .. WTF IS DIS SHIT? I SERVE NPCC FROM 2001 TO 2005! NOT 2002! slogged my guts out for da unit and dis is wat da fuck i get .. "some ppl" juz dunno how to appreciate gd help, cudnt be bothered to do a certificate properly .. fuck lah .. i hate dis type of ppl .. so damn pissed .. GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR! den when back home and watched da smallville episodes dat malim gave me .. episode 12 was da 100th episode of the whole smallville season .. spoilers say dat CLARK WILL FINALLY, COME CLEAN WIF HIS SECRET WIF LANA, AND HE WILL PROPOSE TO LANA! YAY! FINALLy!

but den someone will die .. i was so hoping it wasnt lana .. but den .. shit .. i fast forward da episode .. it was lana .. den i had to go liao .. cant watched all finish, cuz gotta help out in chingay logistics .. den dat episode da starting played You're Beautiful - James Blunt .. wah so suit dat episode .. cuz over da pass few seasons, clark love lana alot, but den .. he dare nt start a relationship wif her .. he scared dat he might hurt her .. they started da relationship once, but it lasted only 2 episodes .. den dis season, he started da relationship again! dis time it lasted for abt 10 episodes! so cool! i love dis season .. but den from episode 11, lana cudnt stand clark keeping his secret .. decided to get closer to lex .. so clark was like haiz ..

" You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You're beautiful, its true
and i dunno wat 2 do,
cuz i'll nver be wif u .."

back to chingay logistics, on my way 2 PA, i was listening to da james blunt song .. cuz i can really understand how clark feels .. cuz i feel da same way too, towards another person .. so when i finally arrived at PA, i was like so demoralized and sad in a way 2 .. haiz .. den something bad happen again lah .. i dun want 2 say wat happen lah .. but i tink .. arh 4get it .. i juz dun understand y such tings happen oso .. when i finally reach home .. i watch finish da smallville episodes .. i was like crying at the end of da episode .. sad ending man .. sad ending .. Clark's feeling towards Lana, is kinda same for me .. oh well .. my next entry will say exactly wat happen in dat episode ..

why does it have to turn out dis way?
why muz it happen now when everything is so perfect?
why is it so hard to tell her da truth?
why cant i be wif her happily for da rest of my life?
why? help me someone .. save me ..

Unkie @ 1:27 AM

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